I had been teaching my three-year-old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: “Lead us not into temptation,” she prayed, “but deliver us some e-email. Amen.”A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter paradise and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person one wish because of the grief they have experienced.
They all line up, and God asks the first person what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous." God snaps his fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says, "I want to be gorgeous, too." God snaps his fingers again and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while, with each one asking to be gorgeous. When God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, still laughing. Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy calms down and says, "Make them all ugly again."An elderly woman in her nineties had a visitor from her church come to see her at the nursing home.
“How are you?” the visitor asked. “Oh,” said the elderly woman, “I’m just worried sick!” “You look like you’re in good health. They take good care of you here, don’t they?” “Oh, yes, they take good care of me here.” “Do you have any pain?” the visitor asked. “No, I can’t say I do,” the elderly woman replied. “Then what has you worried sick?” the visitor asked. The elderly woman leaned in and explained, “All of my closest friends have already died and gone to heaven. I’m sure they are all wondering where I went!”| | ||||||
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Marc Smason – trombone & voice goobye stupid year
I begin leading weekly after-school music time on Beacon Hill January 11 (ages 6 – 11) & January 12 (12 – 18) WWW.ROCKITSPACE.NING.COM
Sunday December 27 5 – 7 pm NW Choro Collective – Brazil 1920! *Ould Triangle Pub 9736 Greenwood N. 206 706-7798 www.myspace.com/northwestchoro
Jammin’ in the Junction 1st & 3rd Mondays 8 pm Better World diva, Joanne Klein Marc Smason Bruce Barnard Ken Strong Chris Jimenez Poggie Tavern 4717 California S.W. 206 937-2165 Jam Session!
Friday January 22 8 – 10 pm Free World Rosalynn DeRoos - reeds Marc Smason Ken Strong - bass Dalton Davis – drums *Gallery 1412 1412 18th www.gallery1412.org
Seattle WA unless otherwise noted * all ages no cover unless noted removal upon request, of course. www.marcsmason.com CDs, available - Hit reply or www.cdbaby.com or call 206 760-1764
“You give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I’ll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders..” Jessie Ventura – CNN interview 5/11/9
"Why do you keep reading the Bible everyday?" the teenage girl asked her grandfather.
"Well, it's a bit like cramming for your final exam," said Granddad.
For the three former fishermen—Peter, James and John—that faith was to be rewarded by a special friendship with Jesus. They alone were privileged to be present at the Transfiguration, the raising of the daughter of Jairus and the agony in Gethsemane. But John’s friendship was even more special. Tradition assigns to him the Fourth Gospel, although most modern Scripture scholars think it unlikely that the apostle and the evangelist are the same person.
John’s own Gospel refers to him as “the disciple whom Jesus loved” (see John 13:23; 19:26; 20:2), the one who reclined next to Jesus atthe Last Supper, and the one to whom he gave the exquisite honor, as he stood beneath the cross, of caring for his mother. “Woman, behold your son....Behold, your mother” (John 19:26b, 27b).
Because of the depth of his Gospel, John is usually thought of as the eagle of theology, soaring in high regions that other writers did not enter. But the ever-frank Gospels reveal some very human traits. Jesus gave James and John the nickname, “sons of thunder.” While it is difficult to know exactly what this meant, a clue is given in two incidents.
In the first, as Matthew tells it, their mother asked that they might sit in the places of honor in Jesus’ kingdom—one on his right hand, one on his left. When Jesus asked them if they could drink the cup he would drink and be baptized with his baptism of pain, they blithely answered, “We can!” Jesus said that they would indeed share his cup, but that sitting at his right hand was not his to give. It was for those to whom it had been reserved by the Father. The other apostles were indignant at the mistaken ambition of the brothers, and Jesus took the occasion to teach them the true nature of authority: “...[W]hoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave. Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:27-28).
On another occasion the “sons of thunder” asked Jesus if they should not call down fire from heaven upon the inhospitable Samaritans, who would not welcome Jesus because he was on his way to Jerusalem. But Jesus “turned and rebuked them” (see Luke 9:51-55).
On the first Easter, Mary Magdalene “ran and went to Simon Peter and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and told them, ‘They have taken the Lord from the tomb, and we don’t know where they put him’” (John 20:2). John recalls, perhaps with a smile, that he and Peter ran side by side, but then “the other disciple ran faster than Peter and arrived at the tomb first” (John 20:4b). He did not enter, but waited for Peter and let him go in first. “Then the other disciple also went in, the one who had arrived at the tomb first, and he saw and believed” (John 20:8).
John was with Peter when the first great miracle after the Resurrection took place—the cure of the man crippled from birth—which led to their spending the night in jail together. The mysterious experience of the Resurrection is perhaps best contained in the words of Acts: “Observing the boldness of Peter and John and perceiving them to be uneducated, ordinary men, they [the questioners] were amazed, and they recognized them as the companions of Jesus” (Acts 4:13).
The evangelist wrote the great Gospel, the letters and the Book of Revelation. His Gospel is a very personal account. He sees the glorious and divine Jesus already in the incidents of his mortal life. At the Last Supper, John’s Jesus speaks as if he were already in heaven. It is the Gospel of Jesus’ glory.
Q: Why is getting Christmas presents for your kids just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit. But if we were to select a patron for today, perhaps it might be appropriate for us to imagine an anonymous shepherd, summoned to the birthplace by a wondrous and even disturbing vision in the night, a summons from an angelic choir, promising peace and goodwill. A shepherd willing to seek out something that might just be too unbelievable to chase after, and yet compelling enough to leave behind the flocks in the field and search for a mystery
.
On the day of the Lord’s birth, let’s let an unnamed, “un-celebrity” at the edge of the crowd model for us the way to discover Christ in our own hearts—somewhere between skepticism and wonder, between mystery and faith. And, like Mary and the shepherds, let us treasure that discovery in our hearts.
The Catholic parish was having its penitential rite in preparation for Christmas. The circus was in town and the tumbler decided to go to the service and make his confession.
The priest he confessed to was sitting next to the communion railing. The tumbler confessed his sins and then told the priest what he did for a living. The priest was fascinated. Using the communion rail, the tumbler gave the priest a demonstration of his moves. Two women were in line, watching all this. Mable said to her friend, "If that is what the Father is giving for a penance, I had better go home and put on my pantsuit."Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something related to or associated with Christmas.
The first man searches his pockets and finds mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a candy cane, so he is also allowed in.The third man pulls out a pair of stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas?" "They're Carol's."Francis, recalling a visit he had made years before to Bethlehem, resolved to create the manger he had seen there. The ideal spot was a cave in nearby Greccio. He would find a baby (we’re not sure if it was a live infant or the carved image of a baby), hay upon which to lay him, an ox and an ass to stand beside the manger. Word went out to the people of the town. At the appointed time they arrived carrying torches and candles.
One of the friars began celebrating Mass. Francis himself gave the sermon. His biographer, Thomas of Celano, recalls that Francis “stood before the manger…overcome with love and filled with a wonderful happiness…” For Francis, the simple celebration was meant to recall the hardships Jesus suffered even as an infant, a savior who chose to become poor for our sake, a truly human Jesus.
Tonight, as we pray around the Christmas cribs in our homes, we welcome into our hearts that same Savior.
Dear God,
Why is Sunday School on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest.
Tom L.
Mark Holt, his banjo, and original song “one last dance” featured in Country Weekly.
* Friday January 15th, 2010: Mark & Kimberlee @ the One World Café’ in Moscow, Idaho. 8:30pm
* Saturday January 16th, 2010: Mark & Kimberlee @ the One World Café’ in Moscow, Idaho. 8:30pm
Mark Holt & Kimberlee Holt Tully return too Seattle:
@ Starbucks new’ “stealth hot spot”
15th Avenue Coffee & Tea on Capital Hill. Seattle, Washington
· Thursday February 11th: 15th Avenue Coffee & Tea on Capital Hill “inspired by Starbucks”. Seattle, Washington. 8:00pm
· Friday February 12th: 15th Avenue Coffee & Tea on Capital Hill “inspired by Starbucks”. Seattle, Washington. 8:00pm
· Saturday February 13th: 15th Avenue Coffee & Tea on Capital Hill “inspired by Starbucks”. Seattle, Washington. 8:00pm
Mark Holt was born in Seattle, Washington and grew up on the Yakama Indian Reservation, spending his musical life keeping both feet in multiple genre’s of music, partly out of necessity, and partly out of his love and respect for all types of music.
Mark has been a featured showcase artist for the International Bluegrass Music Association, the Academy of Western Artist’s, has performed at Seattle’s legendary waterfront Highway 99 Blues Club, and has been a guest on SCAN-TV “Blues to Do” Television.
Mark has been featured in the pages of Country Weekly, the inside stories on country music’s hottest stars. Also: Bluegrass Canada Magazine, Bluegrass Unlimited Magazine & American Cowboy the popular western lifestyle magazine.
Mark’s Acoustically Native Nashville Sessions were produced by multi-grammy winning Bil VornDick with an all-star cast of bluegrass pickers.
Mark has opened shows for Bill Monroe & the Bluegrass Boys, Tammy Wynette, Ricky Skaggs, Rhonda Vincent & Hal Ketchum.
photo of Mark Holt by: Sara Gettys
location: Gilbert Cellars Winery. Yakima, Washington
photo of Mark & Kimberlee by: Sara Gettys
location: Yakima Train Depot. Yakima, Washington
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?” asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments,” answered the lady.
In 1854 Pius IX gave the infallible statement: “The most Blessed Virgin Mary, in the first instant of her conception, by a singular grace and privilege granted by almighty God, in view of the merits of Jesus Christ, the savior of the human race, was preserved free from all stainof original sin.”
It took a long time for this doctrine to develop. While many Fathersand Doctors of the Church considered Mary the greatest and holiest of the saints, they often had difficulty in seeing Mary as sinless—either at her conception or throughout her life. This is one of the Church teachings that arose more from the piety of the faithful than from the insights of brilliant theologians. Even such champions of Mary as Bernard and Thomas Aquinas could not see theological justification for this teaching.
Two Franciscans, William of Ware and Blessed John Duns Scotus, helped develop the theology. They point out that Mary’s Immaculate Conception enhances Jesus’ redemptive work. Other members of the human race are cleansed from original sin after birth. In Mary, Jesus’ work was so powerful as to prevent original sin at the outset.
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the priest with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor, and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out.”
He slipped the priest the cash and walked away. The wedding day arrived. When it came time for the groom’s vows, the priest looked the young man in the eye and said,” Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?” The groom gulped and looked around and then said in a tiny voice, “I do.” After the ceremony, the groom pulled the priest aside and hissed, “I thought we had a deal.” The priest slipped the $100 back into the man’s hand and whispered, “The bride’s father made me a much better offer.”
As with many of the saints, however, we are able to capture the relationship which Nicholas had with God through the admiration which Christians have had for him—an admiration expressed in the colorful stories which have been told and retold through the centuries.
Perhaps the best-known story about Nicholas concerns his charity toward a poor man who was unable to provide dowries for his three daughters of marriageable age. Rather than see them forced into prostitution, Nicholas secretly tossed a bag of gold through the poor man’s window on three separate occasions, thus enabling the daughters to be married. Over the centuries, this particular legend evolved into the custom of gift-giving on the saint’s feast. In the English-speaking countries, St. Nicholas became, by a twist of the tongue, Santa Claus—further expanding the example of generosity portrayed by this holy bishop.
A Catholic priest, a Lutheran minister and an Evangelical preacher are arguing about religion one day when the phone rings.
The priest gets up to answer it. After listening for few moments, he says, “Yes, I will pass on the news,” and hangs up. Turning to the others, he says, “I have good news and bad news.” "Really? Do tell,” the minister says. "My friends,” the priest announces, "that was the Lord Jesus on the phone, and he was calling to say he’s back." "Glory be!” shouts the preacher. “What could possibly be bad news now?” "Well,” the priest says, “He was calling from Salt Lake City.”
He is famous in three areas. First, he is known for his writings against the iconoclasts, who opposed the veneration of images. Paradoxically, it was the Eastern Christian emperor Leo who forbade the practice, and it was because John lived in Muslim territory that his enemies could not silence him. Second, he is famous for his treatise, Exposition of the Orthodox Faith, a summary of the Greek Fathers (of which he became the last). It is said that this book is to Eastern schools what theSumma of Aquinas became to the West. Thirdly, he is known as a poet, one of the two greatest of the Eastern Church, the other being Romanus the Melodist. His devotion to the Blessed Mother and his sermons on her feasts are well known.
